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My Dear Kat,

This experience of union is a mysterious joy.  I have fleetingly known it before, but with you, it is a regular occurrence.  Yet the rational scientist in me asks if it is an illusion, a trick that nature has dreamed up to facilitate sex, bonding, family and cooperation.  Our senses can often fool us; why is this not the case here as well?

Let me offer some reasons.

• “The fact precedes the explanation” is a phrase I coined in my 20’s to mean that the raw experience of the world trumps any theory.  At some point I have to take a stand and say that my experience of union is real.  It is stronger when we are in physical contact, and strongest when sexual.  It is as though the point of contact between you and me is us.  I want to be very clear here: this is not the same as feeling your body; that happens at the same time, but is not the same as the joint experience.  There is a strong feeling of mutuality, that what is taking place arises not from you or me; we are but observers of the event.
• You and I are complex systems.  When two complex systems are joined, interactions and possibilities are created that do not exist in the individual cases.  Two eyes offer depth perception beyond that of one eye. A finger and thumb can perform manipulations that one digit cannot.  Two digits (the binary system) allow a much more compact representation of number than one digit.
• The idea of a supra-individual consciousness is not prevalent in Western culture, though it has been written about in many places.  See Robert Cloninger, Richard Moss, Ken Wilber, Alan Watts.

This is a rather intellectual response, I know, but it is a radical change in world-view that we’re talking about here, and I feel the need to provide a sound basis for it, both for my own benefit and for use with other people.

Kit

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