Dear Kat,
Yes, the time phenomenon is very strange, but I’ll put it down to being intensely present.
More puzzling to me is the sense of union, of experiencing another being that is not me and not you; at the same time, I am also aware of myself. This has happened to me just a few times in my past, but with you, it’s a regular occurrence. It’s puzzling because I have no place in my scientific cosmology for it; my brain says maybe it’s the experience of chemicals designed to promote pair bonding such as oxytocin or vasopressin. Maybe it’s a hallucination, a desirable illusion designed to promote sex and reproduction. It’s just a subjective phenomenon, a trick of the light.
Against this, there is the claim of many mystics that we are all one. “I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together” (even though that’s from “I Am the Walrus”, a deliberately meaningless song.) But then again, maybe those 40 days in the desert affect the brain.
And lastly, I say no, this is my primary experience. There is only experience in our world; all those theories are ways to explain and classify our experience, so ignoring my experience in favor of the theories classifying it is a dangerous route. Here, I also have to refer to the Enlightenment Intensives, the epitome of chopping through words to reach the direct experience.
So I have this dialogue in my head and this experience in my body, and sometimes it makes me feel like this.
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