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We have coined a phrase recently that I think includes many of the aspects of our togetherness that we would like to share and offer others seeking to have harmonious and joyful relationships.

The 100% factor alludes to the element of being together that enables total freedom from  the need to withdraw and to defend, and consequently to separate. The importance of 100% cannot be underestimated. 100% is nothing like 99.999%. Anything less than 100% offers measurement, division, in and out,  good and bad.

I always love your example of a dance floor. If you know that there is nothing on the dance floor, no tacks or other dangerous items, you can be free to dance about, flying freely through the air, unmindful of where you come down. As soon as you introduce one thumbtack onto the floor somewhere, you are no longer free to leap and prance freely. You must always be careful you don’t come down on the thumbtack and injure yourself. It is the same in relationships.  If you have 99.99%, you know you may still sometime come down on the thumbtack. This very knowledge inhibits you all the time , even if its just a little bit.

This is the same within relationships. The more thumbtacks that appear in the exchange, the more you must be careful, defended, withdrawn, on alert. Once you pass the threshold of 100%, there is peace and joy and no busyness in the mind about whether you are in or out, or whether the person is right or wrong, or needs changing or adjusting. You accept yourself and the other and go forward in the freedom that this way of being brings.

This is not a process. It is a transformation. You either move into 100% or you don’t.This way of being does not take work. In fact, it is quite effortless. You don’t work on it, you just do it.

We have found that when we come togther we are fully present, not experiencing the other through our preconceptions, rules and ideas, images of what should be or could be. We are there in comfort with ourselves and joyfulness in the other. We are not trying to make the other anything other than what they are, but rather rejoicing in what and who they are as it unfolds. There is a desire to share that which is;  joy, beauty,  goodness for example. There is no desire to make a point, to be ‘right’, to remake the other.

There is no identity mix-up. Oftimes when people are coupled, they confuse their identity with the other. They think the other person is supposed to say what they would say and think what they would think, because the identities are merged. Union sometimes brings this misunderstood or misplaced identity fusion.  Functioning as two distinctly separate individuals, gives freedom to merge and truly experience union. Functioning as two individuals who are united with The 100% Factor, creates a joy which surpases understanding!

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