Oct 08
Last night is a good example of our process. We were discussing what we had in mind for our evening. You wanted to be sexually playful. I was favoring some hanging out and maybe some movie shorts. We talked and shared and then wound up doing something else. Something that wasn’t what either of us had mentioned as possibilities, but came up from both of us being together and was completely unexpected and different and delicious.
We allow something new and unexpected to happen, by not freeze framing a specific outcome or activity. This seems to be a key to our creativity together. We appear to co-create our experiences through some process where we sync in with each other and then just let it happen.
I know there is more to explore here and I think if we can describe it well enough, we may be able to share it with others.
Kat
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Oct 07
My Dear Kat,
I think we are on to something important in this discussion of allowing something to happen. By insisting on a particular movie or director or genre rather than a preference, certain possibilities are ruled out, but by being open to alternatives, anything is possible. This is a subtle point. It’s different from suppressing one’s desires, different from taking a position of not caring, and different from freezing into inaction. It’s about being open to other possibilities, of not being locked into a mindset of how things have to be.
We had a discussion about sex this morning that picked up this idea.
Sex seems to get better and better; again and again we have a never-before experience of union, and yet next time we discover something fresh and new. This feels very mysterious, and contrary to the way things work in the world. You pointed out that we act similarly to how we behave outside; we don’t have rules about what must be or expectations about what should or will happen, and this allows a spontaneous flow into states that we cannot imagine beforehand.
One way we came to this was when a medical condition precluded intercourse for some time. This required us to be sexual in other ways, and showed us that sexual excitement and orgasm is not limited to particular body parts, but can occur anywhere and in many ways; it is a state of arousal that we achieve together, a state in which any or all of the body can partake. Of course it is facilitated by and strongly connected to genitals, hormones, history and erotica, but it is as if they are only a gateway to bonding, that experience of being part of something over and above our individual selves.
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Oct 05
Dear Kit,
This morning we were embracing before going into the day and it was so dear and sweet.
You said “How did we get so lucky?”
The first thing that came into my head was in order for something to happen, you have to allow it. This goes in the same direction as that which allows us to experience such a peaceful and non conflictual togetherness. We don’t come with expectations of specifics, we don’t insist on or demand certain activities or words or actions. We flow through the together time actually experiencing what happens. This is always bigger and better and more unique than anything either one of us could have come up with in advance.
In the same way, I think people often walk right past opportunities and potential partners because they have pre images and conceptions of what they want and need, that leave out the possibility for something unexpected and unpredictable to happen.
We did really get blessed to find each other, but we also let it happen. We went with it as it grew and took on form. We allowed creativity and presence to rule.
And so here we are!
Kat
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Oct 05
My Dear Kat,
I am so glad that we are writing again. The gap has been too long.
We are each of us procrastinators in our own way, and I wonder what we can do about it for ourselves, and for the other. How to do the latter without pushing or demanding or antagonizing is the trick. We seem to do it successfully in other areas like the website or the flight to England, so maybe all it takes is a daily reminder until we regain the habit of posting.
As for subjects, I believe our conversations, exploring and spiralling ever deeper into our intimacy, can still be mined and refined into posts of value and meaning. So let’s talk!
Kit
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Oct 04
My Dear Kit,
This is a first post for a new day. Its been too long since I’ve posted. I’m so looking forward to exchanging regularly again and putting into words this miracle of Love and Peace that we share.
The energies that we are filled with while spending time with one another, are both sustaining and nourishing. When people can relate without struggle, without the desire for power or to overpower, a buoying force pervades the exchange. This visceral experience of calm, love and peace transcends fear and anxiety. It supports a trust of being present with your whole person. It supports undefended participation in everything. It brings joy.
When people can relate in this way with each other, new unique creations occur.
with love, Kat
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