Nov 09
There are several areas that are essential to our kind of relating.
The first is the deep and abiding understanding that the other personality in the relationship is just that, a complete and sacrosanct separate personality. There is no attempt to change, alter or in anyway impinge upon the inner uniqueness of the other. Rather, there is a rejoicing and honoring of the other.
It gives each of us the ability to be so free, so undefended. I feel totally supported by you, not wanting to change or alter who I am. You seem to rejoice in who I am. I know I rejoice in you. I find it delightful to be with someone who isn’t me, who is entirely unique, and yet shares my deepest meanings and values. I love the adventure of getting to know you as you share yourself so completely and openly. And it seems we can each develop even more fully with this wonderful supportive exchange.
If you are barefoot and dancing, and find out that somewhere on the floor there is even one thumbtack, it will greatly change your movement and inhibit your dancing. If there are no tacks to get pricked with, you can leap about in full joy. That’s how it is with us!
This form of unfettered, undefended beingness, brings one fully into presence. But I think that is the beginning of another blog posting.
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Nov 08
For me, it starts with non-interference — the position of allowing you to act as you choose, without my attempting to influence your decisions, big or small, as you travel through life.
I do this because I do not want to control you. Why would I take on the burden of that responsibility?
I do this because you are not a child who must be taught the ways of the world for your own good.
I do this because of the pleasure of experiencing your views, pleasures and desires. Why would I want to narrow my world by making those more like my own?
I do this because I do not feel threatened by you, physically, financially, emotionally. I started with an assumption of trust, and the more time passes the more I am confirmed in this. Another way to put this is that you are practicing the same non-interference.
How cool! I am not assailed by criticisms or put-downs; I feel accepted, seen, honored. Because of this, I am able to express myself, be myself, live my life without feeling in any way diminished. On the contrary, I not only remain completely myself, but my world is added to by the intimate communication that flows between us because this complete acceptance means there is nothing to inhibit its passage.
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Nov 07
In the years of our relationship and marriage, we have been astounded again and again by the peaceful yet passionate nature of our union. We live with an amazing lack of conflict and an ever increasing experience of joy, ease and harmony. And this is indeed an ongoing actual experience; not a theory, not thoughts nor collections of ideas.
In fact, this experience is so profound, that we both feel compelled to share it with others. We hope and believe that it may assist in spreading peace within relationships, any and all relationships. This is a way of peace between people.
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Nov 07
We know that good relationships can exist, because we have one.
But we’re not going to write and tell how relationships should be, because we don’t believe in telling other people what to do. Instead, we have chosen to tell how we are and let the conclusions speak for them selves.
Kit
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