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So many of my friends who are not in a partnership tell me that they are very happy with their lives. They feel that their lives are rich and full. However, they would like a partnership in their life. At the same time they imagine that they would have to give up some of what they like about their lives, give up freedom of choice and space, if they were to let another into their intimate space.

If they honor the other person the same way they do themselves, if they don’t try to alter or make the other different, then maybe the other won’t do it to them either. Maybe one could start out not giving up freedom or space, but just adding to life what feels good and what you want to do or share with the other person. Maybe you can work with just addition and not giving up for a starting image. If you honor the other and see them as a complete and total individual, as you are, a separate state in the union as it were, then instead of personal encroachment there will be enrichment for each.

I still have to work on this some more to find a way to say this but I think there may be something here that would help talk about the question “how did we get here?”.

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We were standing together this morning hugging before separating, and it was such a deep and warm sharing. I started thinking that if people knew what strong experiences peace and love are, perhaps they wouldn’t be so attracted to conflict, anxiety, drama and tension. I think often people equate strong feeling with the negativity they create.  I think that maybe in order to have the sense of having feelings, or caring deeply, people often create problems and conflicts in order to reassure themselves that they care or are cared for. I know it sounds turned around, but I think this is often the case. If we can communicate how strong the experiences we share are, maybe it could click in some people’s minds and they would move toward exchanges that are filled with love and generate peace. Maybe they could ‘get it’ that what they are seeking doesn’t come from generating drama or illusory problems. But rather, that it comes from being present and actually experiencing what is really there, who the other truly is as a person. The joy of sharing who you are and being appreciated for that, of not being pushed or pulled, changed or manipulated, but just to have someone rejoice in your person and to share with you theirs. Maybe we can find the words to illuminate for others this miraculous experience that we share!

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It seems to me that we have such a wonderful balance between us partly as a result of our  equality. Its not that we are the same, or that we act or share in the same way. Its more that our input and output seems equal. Neither of us is pushing or pulling more than the other. Neither of us is more involved than the other. We are equally seeking peace. We are equally constant and committed. We are equally sexual. Neither of us is seeking to make the other into anything or to change the other. We are different and yet  find union in the balance between us.

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We had such a transcendent experience last night while making love and I wanted to thank you. We reach a place, not in thought, but in actual experience that impinges upon the Divine. It is the experience of the infinite. There is a quality of never endingness and there is no recognizable sequence.  Hence there is no experience of time as we usually know it. We experience that there is no end in that ‘place’ where we go in union. There is no end except the physical material  limitations we have by the nature of what we are.

I want to thank you for allowing me to go there. It is an experience that you need a partner to achieve. There are other ways to have this experience, but the path that we are walking calls for a partner. I have always believed that this type of direct experience of Reality was possible between people, but I have never before had a partner who wanted to walk that path together. It is such ecstasy.  It opens up the vistas of all that is beyond.

And again, thank you!

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The way we come together is so mysterious. It is filled with paradoxes and yet it seems to come so naturally to us.

The other day I was feeling such deep union with you and the word balance came into my mind. It seems to me that neither of us is more present, or taking up more space in the union, or having stronger desires for something specific, or pushing for some direction.

We seem to be so equally there, so completely balanced in our beingness with the other, that the a third presence emerges. This third presence is our union. It covers an area that is not the separate personality of me or of you, both of which are fully present,  but rather of another. This third presence is one where the lines between you and me blur and melt together. This is  experienced not just on the mindal or spirit level, but  even on the physical.

This balance, where neither push nor pull are present,  seems to be a key to the experience we share. And yet where does it come from? We seem to do it so naturally.

I think an important component is the utter respect and appreciation for the other as an individual.

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Its been a while since I’ve posted. However, I am dedicated to continuing.  I am still absolutely convinced that what you and I share can serve as an inspiration and give informational support to others. Let’s keep writing this blog back and forth. I find it really helps in the process of finding words to talk and write about our union.

There are paradoxes associated with how we are with each other. We do not experience our union as something that takes work or that we have to consciously apply techniques to achieve. And yet it is something that we have to actively do. It is something that we have gotten better at. Our togetherness seems more mature and deeper. At the same time that seems impossible, as each experience is the best anything could ever be. The way we are is joyous and smooth. It is so very full of peace and comfort on an abiding spirit level.

If I were to list what we have to offer, the primary thing would be peace.  Indeed we have found a way to coexist in a place of balance and harmony, that both supports and encourages each of us in our own personal development. We are not contributing to discord and dissonance. I do not find that I am ever pushed to respond from my lowest of reactions, from the animal parts of me that are lurking below the surface.  Instead, I feel that I am living in my best part, in my higher realms of personality actualization. Your very presence and the experience of the  kind of relating that we do so easily and naturally,  has landed me in a world colored by meaning and value. We have the experience of relationship filled with peace, harmony, joy, love, truth, beauty and  goodness. We are manifesting our core values, that which  feels real to me. We do this without any energy going toward the illusory, the imagined energies of anger, conflict, fear. And yet, there is no struggle involved. As actively as we live this together, it feels as though it is the easiest thing possible. And the most attractive.

The attraction toward harmony and lack of tensions is a critical component in being together as we are. It has to pull you toward it. You have to want to leave the juice of conflict behind you. You have to find a way to allow peace to occur.

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Its been years and we still walk along holding hands. I love the way I find my face lighting up when I see you in the evening. We’ve been through a lot together already;  illness and health issues, death in the family, marriage,  travel, deep recession, working together and apart, living in two houses and in one,  and so many other of life’s challenges. We have never had an argument or a conflict. We talk all the time. We are intensely connected lovers and experience the joys of union getting better all the time. Each of us feels supported and appreciated and free to be our total natural selves. There is sweetness and joy and an abiding sense of peace. Your mind challenges and stimulates my mind. We grow as a couple and as individuals. We don’t feel separated from each other when we are not physically together. We are both completely present with each other. I know when I encounter you, you will be you and not some stranger masquerading in your body. I know you will be completely available and that you do this with pleasure. We do not try to change each other. We support each other in all ways. Being together is always new, different and better than ever.

Having given peace a chance, we have discovered that it is a supreme and extraordinary experience. Can we share this with others? It feels like we need to give back to others this great blessing we have received. I know that for us this has not been a process. This has not felt like work, although it is certainly an active state that each of us maintains. This has been an almost immediate reframing, a transformation. Perhaps we can describe it well enough that readers or listeners will be able to ‘get’ it, be able to find their own version of what we speak of.

Before we talk of the details of our experience, we should share our core values. Most of what we do follows from our shared core values.

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According to my world clock on my IPhone, it is 4:01 PM in London, and as you were leaving by noon, you are perhaps in London by now. You may even decide to go to a computer and you may think to look at Kit and Kat! If so, hi there lover!!

I have finally reached Sunday morning and plan to stay in all day without leaving except for a small foray around 2:00. I plan to write  more here and to list tons of things on eBay. I’ve had a number of Listomax inquiries that I’ve handled but a few I wasn’t sure what to do with. I stalled until Tuesday when you can help.

Its been sunny, windy and cold. Of course nothing like the cold you are probably experiencing. We are indeed blessed here in SB. Still, London must be great fun and I’m enjoying thinking of you there, out on the town.

Kat loves Kit!

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As we have been talking and thinking about how to share this experience with others, we seem to have come up with a three part concept;

the intro, with a flavor of the kind of relating we are sharing and promoting,

then core values and what they are for us

and in the third part, the review of the main themes we have discovered by writing our blog and synthesizing those writings into related areas.

I was sharing about our project the other day and used the expression ‘passionate peace’ to describe our togetherness. This met with a lot of enthusiasm, so I have been thinking that it might be a good descriptor.

Whenever we talk about our lack of conflict, I always feel compelled to add that we are passionate. This is because I have so often encountered people equating discord, anger or tension as being necessary to feeling strongly and being engaged, and peace with a kind of neutral blah kind of  energy.

Perhaps ‘passionate peace’ is a way to speak of this without lots of words.

So,  in the beginning there was passionate peace. And this brought a wonderful state of being. There were no angles or sharp corners. There was the ease and comfort that comes of knowing you are not going to be attacked. You are not going to be preconceived or rearranged. Gentle joy pervades your day. Your person, and the special nature of your person  is not only respected but celebrated! You are free to be a complete and separate person, while at the same time enjoying a most intense experience of union. When you come together with your partner it is always new, always unique. The time together is full and creative and is always better than ever. This  seems impossible and yet it is so. When you come back together with your partner after a day apart, they are the same person you left hours ago. They are still fully present and available. They haven’t turned into a one-eyed monster or a complete stranger. There is great constancy and a deep abiding sense of well being.

You ask if this is possible. Is this just some unrealistic dream? Is this just some saccharine sweet fantasy? Not for us. We are living this wonderful relationship. We think many relationships in the world could be like ours, full of peace and joy. It is not really a process or something that you have to work on. Its a way of being.  So come join us on our journey into passionate peace.

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Good morning sweetie. I hope you are doing well with the time travel experience. It was quite strange to sleep here last night! Strange, but also good. I woke up quite early and have been eBaying a bit before I go to Katie’s.

And then, a day and a half without leaving the house. That should be amazing!

Kat loves Kit!

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