kitandkat.com

Dear Kat,

I agree about needing to be suited to the other.  I don’t want to make a list of areas, as it’s probably different for everyone.  But once those are met, that’s the time to leave well enough alone, to let the other person be who they are, and we do that so well!  I am amazed again and again at how we do that.

Recognising this suitability and giving it priority is a difficult thing to do early in life because there is also sexual attraction that is so powerful, yet seems completely independent of other elements.  I have seen people drawn again and again to a completely unsuitable relationship, though in several cases I’m thinking of, I can’t say how much it was sex and how much a working through of some childhood relationship.

So yes, we’re very suited, though I haven’t got a list in my head of what those reasons might be.  Like many things between us, I seem to have made decisions at some subconscious level.  In fact, both of us seem able to trust our subconscious/intuition/whatever name you wish to use.  The first trip to Europe is a good example of that.  This intuitive element is very important, and maybe other people ignore it and instead focus on things like similar interests.  They’re important, though it doesn’t have to be a complete match, but interests alone don’t cut it.  There has to be some – gee, I’m inclined to get cosmic here and say energy or harmony or something that decribes a resonance of some sort between people.  And there also needs to be a similarity of world view – people, politics, religion – or at least, no radical differences.

Kit

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